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In other news, internationally acclaimed Product Engineer Prithvi Kumar (Jiggs, to close friends) has agreed to put his bachelordom ( a: an unmarried man b: a male animal (as a fur seal) without a mate during breeding time) behind him and get betrothed immediately after his trip to Las Vegas to get rid of all the single dollar bills he has collected so far.

In typical Iyer fashun, his mother has started the process of posting matrimonial classifieds on various websites, such as www.Iyermatteronlymoney.com and www.shaata.com, (eh, sorry, www.shaadi.com). The profile, scripted by noted matrimonial classifieds expert, Mrs. Maitri Mani  (known to her close friends as Mint Mani) has all the usual lies attributed to NRI (Non-Religious Iyers) boys wedding profiles, like :

“Eggetarian” – Will eat anything that might be born inside and outside an egg. To avoid confusion, he eats both Chicken Curry and Egg Masala at the same time.

 ” Social Animal” – Chases anything in a skirt, unsuccessfully.

“Plans to do MBA” – Continue pursuing More Beer Activities.

Being internationally acclaimed, he has already recieved many queries from bride hopefuls, the first coming from Ms. Shanti. After a lengthy description of her families’ educational qualifications, he was still found waiting for the vital-statistix. When broached about this, the bride’s family dropped the topic with a thud*. 

The irresponsible word-smith that he is, Mr. Prithvi has already started fantasizing about the Page 3 headlines morning after the honeymoon (Jenu-Chandra, in local parlance).

“Peace on Earth at last!”

“Earth erupts violently in face of Peace”

“On Shanti On”

Also, since Shanti looks pretty porky ( a term most Republicans love), having Sow.Shanti on the wedding inviatations will be most appropriate. Master Manjunath has been booked to perform such yester-year classics as “Yaen Hudgiro” and “Surangani: Unedited version” at the ceremony. When asked about his artiste’s fees, he was quick to point out – “Yaen reportaro? Neevyakingkelthiro? Feesu, Feesu, Feesantha kanneer-bidtheero”.  

(This post was inspired by the fabulous and most talented bloggers at www.bosey.co.in, the Onion of India! )

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One Comment

  1. Good one jiggles..


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