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Monthly Archives: March 2009

Bangalore may have lingo that can be found nowhere else. Contributions from teachers and lecturers throughout Bangalore’s schools and engineering colleges make up a large part of it.

Please enjaii:

1. Overheard at Sir MVIT 1st Sem Chemistry –

Dr. GMK – “Eyy, why you are looking at the monkey when I yam here?”

                 – “Open the window and let the air-force in”

                 – “Why you are sitting about the backside?”

                In the lab – ” Aal af you, pick up a round baatum flask of any shape”

                                    – “Please stand in a straight semi-circle”

2. Valley School – Sports Field –

Krishna Saar – “Ehh, both of you three! I will cut it the pants and make it the sharts!”

3. 4rth Sem BE, Mech @Sir MVIT –

Me – “Rajesh, how do you spell Phenyle?”

Rajesh – “Fee-yee-yen-why-yel-ee!”

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In a surprise announcement, Sun TV has announced that the King of Late Night, Count Dracula will be hosting a new late night talk show, on their new network, MoonTV. The show is scheduled to air fortnightly and will coincide with full moon nights. The Count (known to close friends as KD) will try to repair his tarnished image by focusing on a popular form of Tamil humor, the “Kadi” joke, having centuries of experience with this format.

He will be biting into this role with much gusto! There will be no mirrors on the show, and will also feature a new segment sponsored by Benadryl (for the coffin, of course), where the King of Kadi will interview young virgins. His first guests will be Tollywood movie-stars, Asin and Trisha.

MoonTV released some of his material to the internationally acclaimed Product Engineer, Prithvi Kumar, so he could give his readers a sneak preview of some of the humor.

“What is the opposite of Encyclopedia?”

On cycle pudiya!

“What is the similarity between Goddess Kaali and Boxing?”

Naak-out!

“What is the similarity between Communism and Krishna Jayanti?”

“Kaal Marks”

A Bee couple came home to their hive, only to find a fly in their honey. So the hubby Bee tells the wife Bee – “A B C D E !”

Fans of KK, such as Mr. KK Venkatesan from the Thoobai in the Gelf were delighted! When asked for a comment, he said – “No sound bites from my side at the moment.”


  

(This post was inspired by the fabulous bloggers at www.bosey.co.in, the Onion of India! )

In other news, internationally acclaimed Product Engineer Prithvi Kumar (Jiggs, to close friends) has agreed to put his bachelordom ( a: an unmarried man b: a male animal (as a fur seal) without a mate during breeding time) behind him and get betrothed immediately after his trip to Las Vegas to get rid of all the single dollar bills he has collected so far.

In typical Iyer fashun, his mother has started the process of posting matrimonial classifieds on various websites, such as www.Iyermatteronlymoney.com and www.shaata.com, (eh, sorry, www.shaadi.com). The profile, scripted by noted matrimonial classifieds expert, Mrs. Maitri Mani  (known to her close friends as Mint Mani) has all the usual lies attributed to NRI (Non-Religious Iyers) boys wedding profiles, like :

“Eggetarian” – Will eat anything that might be born inside and outside an egg. To avoid confusion, he eats both Chicken Curry and Egg Masala at the same time.

 ” Social Animal” – Chases anything in a skirt, unsuccessfully.

“Plans to do MBA” – Continue pursuing More Beer Activities.

Being internationally acclaimed, he has already recieved many queries from bride hopefuls, the first coming from Ms. Shanti. After a lengthy description of her families’ educational qualifications, he was still found waiting for the vital-statistix. When broached about this, the bride’s family dropped the topic with a thud*. 

The irresponsible word-smith that he is, Mr. Prithvi has already started fantasizing about the Page 3 headlines morning after the honeymoon (Jenu-Chandra, in local parlance).

“Peace on Earth at last!”

“Earth erupts violently in face of Peace”

“On Shanti On”

Also, since Shanti looks pretty porky ( a term most Republicans love), having Sow.Shanti on the wedding inviatations will be most appropriate. Master Manjunath has been booked to perform such yester-year classics as “Yaen Hudgiro” and “Surangani: Unedited version” at the ceremony. When asked about his artiste’s fees, he was quick to point out – “Yaen reportaro? Neevyakingkelthiro? Feesu, Feesu, Feesantha kanneer-bidtheero”.  

(This post was inspired by the fabulous and most talented bloggers at www.bosey.co.in, the Onion of India! )